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🧿 Psychology
What is your attachment style?
Discover if you are secure, anxious, avoidant or fearful.
Rate each statement 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree). Think about your romantic relationships.
1I worry about being abandoned by my partner.
2I need a lot of reassurance that my partner loves me.
3I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me.
4When I'm not in a relationship, I feel somewhat anxious and incomplete.
5My desire to be very close sometimes scares people away.
6I prefer not to show a partner how I feel deep down.
7I find it difficult to depend on romantic partners.
8I am very comfortable being close to romantic partners.
9I don't feel comfortable opening up to romantic partners.
10I want to get close to my partner, but I keep pulling back.
The 4 attachment styles explained
Attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969; Hazan & Shaver, 1987) describes how early bonds with caregivers shape adult relationships. The ECR-R scale measures two dimensions: anxiety (fear of abandonment) and avoidance (discomfort with closeness).
Population distribution (Mickelson et al. 1997, n=8,098)
- Secure (56%): Low anxiety + Low avoidance — comfortable with intimacy
- Anxious-Preoccupied (19%): High anxiety + Low avoidance — craves closeness, fears abandonment
- Dismissive-Avoidant (25%): Low anxiety + High avoidance — values independence, suppresses needs
- Fearful-Avoidant (7%): High anxiety + High avoidance — wants closeness but fears it
Attachment style impacts
- Secure + Secure couples have 58% lower divorce rates
- Anxious-Avoidant pairings are the most volatile ("protest-withdraw" cycle)
- Attachment style can change — earned security through therapy or secure relationships
- About 30% of people shift attachment style over 2 years
Sources: ECR-R (Brennan et al. 1998), Hazan & Shaver (1987), Mickelson et al. (1997), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.